Dear Hostess Twinkie Person,

As an artist, I've been working on the initial design of a large sculpture in which I would like to use Hostess Twinkies.

My recent work has focused on Americana and the lasting spirit of America. In my opinion, little is more American than that great Hostess treat: the Twinkie. I am sketching plans for the construction of a 1000 cubic foot Twinkie (a large rednition fairly proportional to the real thing) which I would like to construct with individual unwrapped twinkies. The piece will be accompanied by a welded steal knife, 90 x 1 3/4 feet, bearing the engraved inscription: ENDURING FOR CENTURIES.

Also with the piece will be a set of type-set instructions framed on handmade rag paper instructing the Twinkie owner to cut it along designated lines exactly 100 years after the date of the completion of the work. Although the outside will be coated with a thick layer of shellac, it is imperative that the middle remain moist and edible, as the owner, carrying on the spirit of the work, will be instructed to partake of the center of the massive Twinkie.

My only concern is that the Twinkies, though insulated with a protective outer covering, will be unsafe to eat. Would this be the case? Please let me know so that I may continue my work.


Eliot Cocaine

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